Sloan Schang, writing for the Bygone Bureau, channels Jerry Seinfeld in his new position as Apple CFO:
I heard an analyst on TV the other day describe our stock as a real roller coaster. Now there’s something I’ve never understood. Roller coasters. I’m going to pay you to almost kill me and then right before you kill me, you’re going to save me by flipping me upside down, sending me through a cave and then dropping me off right where I started? And you’re going to try to sell me a picture of myself screaming in mid-flight, right at the moment I thought I was about to die? No thanks. I’ll just fly Southwest.